Magician
5/7/95-15/7/95
5 July 1995 - MAGICIAN
Equipped with a full wardrobe of magic clothes, we've begun devising illusions for our show.
One we call "The Magic Chicken". Basically, what happens is Jacob climbs into a silver box holding a chicken on a dish.
A drum roll begins, and when we open the box the chicken is wearing glasses, a hat, and a pair of socks. It's magic!
8 July 1995 - MAGICIAN
We played our first night as support to Bon Jovi last night, though things didn't quite go according to plan.
During one trick, where an eagle is supposed to appear from a kettle, a dog somehow got on stage and chewed through all the electrics.
There was this big bang, and the dog flew across the stage, landing in Jon Bon Jovi's old hairstyle.
10 July 1995 - MAGICIAN
Bon Jovi have fired us from their tour. It was last night after the post-show party.
Eldritch had a bet with the drummer that he could touch the ceiling. When it came to the drummer's turn, Eldritch kept tickling him on the belly.
The band got really cross, and told us it wasn't the behaviour they expected from a support act. We got beaten up!
11 July 1995 - MAGICIAN
After being kicked off the Bon Jovi tour, we've been putting together some better magic stuff to make our act look more good.
Eldritch has designed a raft which fires snake spines at a plaster hobbit. Jacob has created the magic part of this thing.
When the hobbit is hit by the spines, a bit breaks off, and falls into a crash helmet full of weird stuff, like bolts.
12 July 1995 - MAGICIAN
Our continuing frustration at not being able to perform in public, has led us adopt a more controversial approach to our magic act.
At one point during our routine, I run into the audience brandishing a Stanley knife. It's not really magic as such, but it's better than someone having to go and live in an undersea cave.
Is that right?
13 July 1995 - MAGICIAN
We've got a booking for our magic act on the beach at Littlehampton.
The organisers have put up a ginger marquee for us to perform in.
As the audience enter the tent, Eldritch swoops down on a harness and spits cordial in their faces. We're hoping this will fire them up for the first trick, which is called "Giants of the Food Chain".
15 July 1995 - MAGICIAN
The scandal which dogged our career as magicians finally broke.
It was reported in a local newspaper that Eldritch has secretly been running an illegal owl club.
Guests arrive, and are served drinks by owls dressed in clown costumes. At midnight, everyone chooses an owl, and paints an image on its beak.
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