When you think about it for any real length of time, what do the merits of Arnold Schwarzenegger's professional muscley guy film career come down to? The first two Terminator films. Predator. Maybe a couple of other 80s bang-me-dos - and that's it. Is it any real surprise that T1 and 2 were his best films - films which revolved around the central premise of him being a cold, emotionless machine of few words? If ever there had been an example of playing to an actor's strengths, then surely they are the stupid great comedy arrow suspended from the sky, that's pointed down and flashing at the sign that says "Boogaloo". Probably. Just take a look at this early draft of one of the later Terminator sequels that Digi unearthed, for another example of making it easy for the guy. Get to the shops - huh?!
INT. OIL REFINERY
JOHN CONNOR: Quick, Good Terminator! We have to hide - the bad Terminator is coming to get us!
GOOD TERMINATOR: Pasta la vespa, baby.
JOHN CONNOR: What? What are you talking about? Come on!
GOOD TERMINATOR: I'll be back.
JOHN CONNOR: Enough with the catchphrases - we have to go!
GOOD TERMINATOR: N-n-n-niiiice to see you, to s-s-see you nice! Good game!
INT. OIL REFINERY
JOHN CONNOR: I'm really glad you were able to be re-programmed, Good Terminator. Now, stand on one leg.
GOOD TERMINATOR: Please, no.
JOHN CONNOR: Do it!
GOOD TERMINATOR: Ohhh...
JOHN CONNOR: Now act like a monkey, and run around scratching yourself.
BAD TERMINATOR: Hahaha! Look!
GOOD TERMINATOR: Shut up. Ooh! Ooh!
INT. SKYNET BASE
JOHN CONNOR: Come, Terminator - we have to save the world from nuclear war! Plug yourself into the Skynet mainframe!
GOOD TERMINATOR: Oh, wait... I can't do that yet. I can't. I need to download a patch off the Internet first.
JOHN CONNOR: What?
GOOD TERMINATOR: My soundcard isn't compatible with Skynet's mouse driver software.
BILL GATES: Hahahahahah!
INT. SKYNET BASE
JOHN CONNOR: I've been thinking, Terminator. You're basically a robot covered with living flesh, giving you permanently tensed muscles, right?
GOOD TERMINATOR: Correct.
JOHN CONNOR: So... how does that work exactly?
GOOD TERMINATOR: What do you mean?
JOHN CONNOR: You know what I mean.
GOOD TERMINATOR: No, I don't. I... oh. Oh, I think I understand now.
INT. OIL REFINERY
SARAH CONNOR: That silly robot is never going to find me in here. It's the best place ever to hide!
TERMINATOR: Exterminate!
SARAH CONNOR: Gosh! What a suprise! The Terminator had disguised itself as a baby fox. Are you a good Terminator or a bad Terminator?
TERMINATOR: I'm the good one.
SARAH CONNOR: How can I be sure?
TERMINATOR: I'm wearing clown shoes.
INT. OIL REFINERY
SARAH CONNOR: Gosh! It's just as well I've got a good Terminator to protect me from the bad Terminator.
GOOD TERMINATOR: I'll be back.
SARAH CONNOR: Where are you going?
GOOD TERMINATOR: Just over here for a bit. Is that all right?
SARAH CONNOR: I suppose so. But why are you going over there?
GOOD TERMINATOR: Because... you see... it's... I'LL BE BACK.
Do you know of any important moments from the annals of Digi history that have been omitted? If so, then mail me (superpage58@gmail.com) right now, man. Credit will be duly given for anything that gets put up.
