Import Peripheral
27 November 1999
Holy Moses - I've had a face-lift! And don't I look kinda cute, in a Dennis Waterman kinda way?
I've been away for some time, but you'll be glad to hear that I'm back with a whole new series of semi-hilarious phone prankery transcripts. I truly am The Prankerer Of The Phones!
This week I rang a games shop to see if they'd taken delivery of the special Japanese peripheral I'd ordered. The names of the victims have been changed to avoid "Honey-bash".
"SCARLET GAMES", MIDLANDS
SG: Hello, "Scarlet Games".
US: Hello, mate. Is that the import place - the mail order place?
SG: It certainly is.
US: Oh, right. Well, I placed an order with you a few weeks back, and wanted to know if it was in stock yet. It was a Dreamcast Pipe-ston.
SG: A what, sorry?
US: A Dreamcast Pipe-ston. Is it in stock, yet?
SG: I don't even know what it is. You sure you ordered it with us? It's a what again, sorry?
US: A Pipe-ston.
SG: Python?
US: Pipe-ston. You plug it into the expansion port, and - it looks like a hoover pipe - and the end has this sort of binocular thing, and, and, and then you use that and so on.
SG: Let me just check if it's in. It's a Pipe-ston thing, yes?
US: Yes.
SG: What was your name?
US: Dave... Wainwright. The dude.
SG: One second.
(He goes away. There is a discussion. He comes back.)
SG: You sure it's not a Python?
US: Pipe-ston. I have the order receipt in my hand. It looks like a big pipe.
SG: You definitely ordered this thing with us, yeah? Is it a sort of light gun thing?
US: No! It's a big hoover pipe with binoculars on the end, and you stick it in your Dreamcast and off you go!
SG: What do you use it for though?
US: I've no idea what you use it for. It's the most stupid looking thing I've ever seen. It looks like some sort... idiot's nightmare.
SG: If you don't mind me asking, if it looks so stupid why are you buying it?
US: I don't just buy stuff because of what it looks like.
SG: Yeah, but what does this thing do? If we knew that, maybe...
US: I have the order receipt!
SG: I know you have the order receipt.
US: I have it in my hand. I'm going to come down there and show it to you through the glass in your shop door.
SG: You can't come down here because we're mail order only.
US: I can do whatever I like.
SG: Yeah, but you can't come down here.
US: Oh? And how exactly do you intend to restrict my access?
SG: With a broom.
(At this point, we were forced to terminate the phone call due to our unbridled hilarity.)
Do you know of any important moments from the annals of Digi history that have been omitted? If so, then mail me (superpage58@gmail.com) right now, man. Credit will be duly given for anything that gets put up.
