Is The Mayor Now
13/5/95-19/5/95
13 May 1995 - IS THE MAYOR NOW
I've begun doing laws.
LAW 1: Dogs must walk in a funny way to make me laugh.
LAW 2: Cats must walk as much like the dogs as they can.
LAW 3: People can walk however they want, providing it makes me laugh a lot.
15 May 1995 - IS THE MAYOR NOW
Here are more laws:
LAW 4: Food must be prepared in a sealed environment.
LAW 4b: Restaurant food may be prepared in an orange room.
LAW 9: When food is consumed, blokes must make a noise like a breaking window.
16 May 1995 - IS THE MAYOR NOW
Here are some more laws:
LAW 18: A new type of gun will be issued to all citizens. It's called "death-ray 3", and can induce nausea in pigs.
LAW 32: When someone drops a cup, it shouldn't be allowed to break anymore, under this law.
17 May 1995 - IS THE MAYOR NOW
As part of my mayoral duties I spent today opening a fete staged by the Round Table.
The opening ceremony involved Aztec Camera abseiling down the inside of a massive fibreglass dubloon.
Classix Nouveau were waiting at the bottom carrying a tall scout.
19 May 1995 - IS THE MAYOR NOW
I think I may be out of a job.
At the opening of a new roller disco last night I misread my script. Instead of saying "I wish you all a night of rolling laughter", I said "I wish you would all stop laughing - let's go back to bed."
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