Curtain Shop Worker

25 June 1998 - CURTAIN SHOP WORKER

I've stopped being a spaceman after I discovered that the Moon was really Kilburn. I don't know how this happened - but it did! I've got a new job now working in a curtain shop called "It's Curtains For You".

The manager, Mr Adrian, thinks the name of his shop is hilarious, but I'm not convinced. I mean, what's funny about it? It's like calling a bakery "Here Is The Bread", or a shoe shop "These Are Your Shoes". But Mr Adrian just walks around the shop repeating the name to himself and chuckling all the time.

26 June 1998 - CURTAIN SHOP WORKER

Working in a curtain shop probably sounds to you like it'd be a lot of fun, but it's actually very hard work. My manager, Mr Adrian Bottle, has explained to me that curtain shop workers don't get paid until they've given their manager a 10 minute massage at the end of the day.

I know it sounds a bit strange, but I've got bills to pay. Besides, there are worse things I could do than rub oil into Grand Master Adrian's naked, sweaty shoulders.

29 June 1998 - CURTAIN SHOP WORKER

I came into work this morning to find that the curtain shop had been turned into a butcher's shop. Where yesterday hung Laura Ashley print curtains, today hangs racks of pork ribs. I asked my manager, Mr Adrian, what was going on. He explained that he had lost his mind in the night, and decided that turning his store into a butcher's would be a really good idea.

I wouldn't mind, but I had some real explaining to do to our regulars.

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