The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Robot Friend


30 June 1998 - ROBOT FRIEND

I met a robot in the pub last night. His name was UB-4, and he could do anything! I asked UB-4 what the weather was going to be today, and he told me it would be "Fine" - and it is!

I think UB-4 is going to be my new best friend. However, I may have to give him a nickname: I told a policeman yesterday that I'd never met anyone like UB-4, and the policeman replied "But you've only just met me, sir". I considered explaining, but I didn't want to hurt the policeman's feelings.

1 July 1998 - ROBOT FRIEND

I've asked my new best friend, the robot UB-4, to live with me in my house. It's great having UB-4 around the place, because he can do anything! He's also got a great sense of humour.

Last night I asked him to cook me dinner, but when I went into the kitchen a bit later on, UB-4 had stuck a breadknife into his robot heart, and smashed his computer head in by repeatedly banging it against the fridge. I laughed and laughed!

2 July 1998 - ROBOT FRIEND

My new robot flatmate, UB-4, is the best friend I ever had: he can do anything! Last night he announced he was going upstairs to have a bath. However, a bit later on I went to the bathroom, but discovered no sign of UB-4 ever having been in there.

I discovered UB-4 in my bedroom, where he had emptied the contents of my dresser and wardrobes all over the floor. It almost appeared as if he was looking for something. When I asked UB-4 what was going on, he told me he was sorting my clothes out. He's the best!

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