Custom Machines
12 October 1996
I am Phoning Honey - the phoning lord who can't stop the vid-shop pranking.
I'm here today with another pair of the hilarious consumer tests formerly known as phone jokes. You probably want me to shut up and get on with "it".
There's no way I'd do that - not until I tell you that the names of the shops have been changed to protect the me.
1. "PRODIGY GAMES", NORTH LONDON
PG: Good afternoon.
US: Good afternoon...
PG: Um? can I help you?
US: Yes you may. Do you stock the videogames machine the PlayStation?
PG: We certainly do.
US: Would you be interested in purchasing customised machines from me?
PG: Custom machines? What, like ones that can play import games?
US: No, I mean customised machines. Ones covered with colourful images.
PG: Oh, right. What sort of images?
US: That would depend on the customer. But I imagine they'd be very dynamic.
PG: I don't think we'd be interested.
US: But you haven't even asked my name!
PG: Well, OK - who are you?
US: Gavin Kong. I'm a street artist.
PG: No, we're not interested.
US: I could draw pictures of you on a Saturn. Draw pictures of your stupid hair and beard.
PG: Right. Goodbye.
US: Stupidstupidbeard!
2. "BATTALION GAMES", MANCHESTER
BG: Hello.
US: I've been to the shop round the corner, and the bloke in there said that they were better than you.
BG: What?
US: They said they were better. Said their games were cheaper.
BG: Well, er, er, er...
US: "Er er er" - who are you supposed to be? Mr Police Car?!
BG: No, what was it again you said?
US: The bloke said their games were cheaper!
BG: Wha? What bloke?
US: Mr Boobry.
BG: Sorry, I can't understand you. I'm going to hang up.
Do you know of any important moments from the annals of Digi history that have been omitted? If so, then mail me (superpage58@gmail.com) right now, man. Credit will be duly given for anything that gets put up.
