Man Diary - With Prints


Tourist Guide


18 November 1995 - TOURIST GUIDE

I went to an interview today for a new job showing wealthy foreign tourists around London.

One of the tests I was asked to perform was a sort of role-playing situation in which my part was that of a homesick Japanese teenager. When the guy playing the guide came to comfort me, I forced his head down onto the overhead projector and pulled his mouth about so it looked on the screen like he was singing!

21 November 1995 - TOURIST GUIDE

I took a party of Dutch cowboys around the Tower of London yesterday.

There was a bit of trouble when one of them tried to steal a raven by stuffing it in his holster. Later on, the same Dutch cowboy laughed at the beefeaters and called them "English rind-scabbings". When I tried to calm him down, his friends whipped me with their chaps and pushed me into a wall.

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