The New Father Christmas
16 December 1996 - THE NEW FATHER CHRISTMAS
Trying to get a load of elves to build toys is like asking a dog to draw his own face without ever having seen it. I've no idea how the old Father Christmas managed it.
For instance, last night I ordered the elves to package up a consignment of Speak and Spell machines for Israel. They got it completely wrong, and packaged up a load of Feel and Fly machines, which were destined for the Dominican Republic. Suffice to say I sprayed pepper in their faces.