The Man With A Long Chin's Diary

 

"Home Alone"

21/12/96-24/12/96

21 December 1996 - "HOME ALONE"

I've promoted one of the elves to the rank of Father Christmas, so that I may spend the season with my family. Sadly, my family have all flown away leaving me home alone.

It was quite fun at first, but I've started to get scared now. At six o'clock every night, a pair of burglars break into the house and start hurling furniture around. If I ask them to leave they threaten me with a whip, and hit me with a bit of food.


23 December 1996 - "HOME ALONE"

I've hatched a plan to stop those two bungling burglars from breaking into the house and stealing my daddy's stuff. I've rigged up a projector on the top of the house to shine images of Satan, Daleks and Buzz Lightyear onto the lawn.

If that doesn't scare the burglars away, then I'll turn the TV up really loud. Hopefully The Bill or Heartbeat will be on, and the burglars will believe that the police are in the house. Failing that, I'll phone 999.


24 December 1996 - "HOME ALONE"

I managed to catch those two crazy crooks last night, when they broke into the house to steal my daddy's stuff. As they were sneaking through the kitchen window I threw a cobweb in one of their faces, and threw a plate of sand at the other.

When they chased me through the living room I used a special battery to make sparks fly at them. Finally, they thought they'd cornered me in the loft, but I pushed them into a cage, locked it and destroyed them. Merry Christmas!


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