The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Giant Clam


6 August 1997 - GIANT CLAM

It's awful - I've been made to live with my wicked uncles Celestine and Winston. All I'm given to eat at nights is a lump of germ culture from a petri dish.

My uncles are so wicked - they make me sleep in a large oil drum filled with polecat skins and molasses. They awaken me in the morning by heating the drum and banging on it with a tennis racket. But I have a dream - a dream of travelling far from here in a giant motorised electric clam.

7 August 1997 - GIANT CLAM

My wicked uncles Celestine and Winston made me clean out the drainage channels in the courtyard of their polecat skinnery last night.

While I was out there I found the most incredible thing: a giant motorised electric clam like the one in my dreams. I climbed inside, and was confronted with an amazing sight a grey/pink mass of organic matter and a faint fishy smell. I'm going to use this giant clam to go on an adventure.

8 August 1997 - GIANT CLAM

I've discovered a giant clam which I intend to use to escape my wicked uncles. It would appear that the clam is inhabited.

In here with me is a jellyfish called Clark Davis, a seahorse called Ginger, a couple of blennies called Horace Webb and Den Spicer, and a winkle called Travis. We fitted a steering wheel to the inside of the clam, and Den Spicer reckons he knows someone who'll be able to give us a push-start.

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