The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Haunted House


13 August 1997 - HAUNTED HOUSE

I've inherited an old house from an elderly relative called Mr F Barnaby-Corn. The house is rather large and before I move in properly I need to clear out the stuffed pigs that are piled up everywhere. I counted 167 stuffed pigs before I got bored and fell asleep.

I was awoken by a faint oinking and the sound of chains rattling. Before me stood a ghostly apparition of a ghost pig - a real spectral porky squealer. I fell out of the bed with fright.

14 August 1997 - HAUNTED HOUSE

I hate having to live in a house haunted by ghost pigs. Let me tell you, ghosts aren't even half as much fun as they are in Casper.

Most of these ghost pigs are downright malicious. I was trying to eat my Ricicles this morning when two of the ghosts ran into the room and started oinking at me. I threw a handful of Ricicles at them, but it just seemed to make them angry. They stood there throughout my breakfast, making sounds, and putting me right off my Ricicles.

15 August 1997 - HAUNTED HOUSE

I haven't slept in five days because of these stupid ghost pigs. Whenever I'm about to drop off, one or more spectral porcines stroll into my bedroom and start sniffing for truffles in the corner of the room.

Whether they're genuinely hungry, or just doing it to annoy me, I don't know. I woke up one morning to find one of my shoes missing! I found it out on the landing. I bet one of those awful ghost pigs had dragged it out there...

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