Being A Sculptor
11/11/94-15/11/94
11 November 1994 - BEING A SCULPTOR
I was caught drawing pictures on a London Underground train by Datsun of 3A, who now works as an art critic for the Bondony Centre.
He wants to exhibit some of my artwork at their annual charity dog fight.
He says my work reminds him of the time he ate soggy beef stock.
12 November 1994 - BEING A SCULPTOR
I've created a number of exciting sculptures for my forthcoming exhibition. I plan to greet visitors with a stunning piece entitled "Spankles".
It's a load of webs strapped to a kebab.
Another sculpture is a bloke I call The Mast, who is basically a car.
14 November 1994 - BEING A SCULPTOR
Visitors to my sculpture show will be delighted by Yentson 23 - a massive effigy of Mehmet who used to be in EastEnders.
Other exhibits include TT Spite - a spike on a rack, and Bolo - a bike on a kite. The final piece, Yentson 24, is a brake on a path.
15 November 1994 - BEING A SCULPTOR
My triumphant sculpture show was disrupted yesterday by the man who does the Speaking Clock, Isotope Owens.
He rushed up to Mason 9, a snake on a frame, and pushed it over onto Fire-Doddy, a plant on a sheet. He shouted that my work was an affront to Daleks, Cybermen and The Hobbit.
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