Getting A Deal
11 December 1999
Honkin' franks! I'm Phoning Honey, the prankiest phoner-upper in all England.
It's my job to call games shops, and lie to them - pretending to be someone, or somesuch - in order to provide you, the viewer, with a hilarious telephone conversation transcript to read.
As ever, for the benefit of my own well-being, I have changed the name of this week's shop to prevent the beats to Honey's head. Phone-on!
SPARKLE GAMES, LONDON
SG: Hello, "Sparkle Games".
US: Excuse me? Yes? What? I understand you're a salesman of games.
SG: We sell games, yes. And hardware.
US: I understand. I also understand that Christmas is coming up, and that you may be able to do me some deals on the games and the hardware.
SG: Well, maybe. What are you after?
US: Well, I went to a shop around the corner from you, and they said they could provide me with four Dreamcasts, two joypads, and loads of games for under 300 quid.
SG: Four Dreamcasts?!?
US: Yes. I have stereoscopic vision.
SG: Uh... heh. Well, I wouldn't want one Dreamcast, personally.
US: I'm sorry?
SG: Nothing! Don't worry.
US: So, can you better the deal of your so-called rival?
SG: Not for under £300. We're doing a pack-in with any five games for £350, I think it is.
US: But, technically, that isn't better than the other deal.
SG: Well, of course not.
US: Then why are you wasting my time?
SG: Why are you wasting my time?
US: The customer is always right. You talking to me with that attitude could give you a world of trouble.
SG: I don't think so.
US: I do.
SG: I don't care. I'm deputy manager.
US: Yeah? Well, I'm the manager, and I've been doing a test to see how good you are, and you failed.
SG: No, I didn't. I can see my manager from here. He's by the games.
PHONECALL ENDS DUE TO MIRTH
Do you know of any important moments from the annals of Digi history that have been omitted? If so, then mail me (superpage58@gmail.com) right now, man. Credit will be duly given for anything that gets put up.
