13 April 1996
I am Phoning Honey - the telephone-trick-monk.
In my unending quest to humiliate and degrade the vid-game shop-folk, I again find myself ringing them in the guise of a prankster.
This week, I have been posing as an official from the Office of Interactive Entertainment Trading: AEIOU. The real name of the shop has been replaced.
"WISEACRE GAMES", CENTRAL LONDON
US: Good afternoon. May I speak with your manager? Mmm?
US: Ah, yes. I'm calling from AEIOU, the Office of Fair Interactive Entertainment Trading. I wonder if you could answer a few questions for me.
WG: I'm sorry, who are you? From where?
US: I'm the new regulatory body.
WG: What is it that you want, sir?
US: Sir? I see. We need to get a few details off you regarding your operation. For the record.
WG: Like what?
US: Like, how do you do
WG: How do I do what?
US: How do you dress?
WG: Why do you want to know how I dress?
US: It's important to know what sort of image you're portraying. It might intimidate your customers if you wore a Spider-Man outfit!
WG: Ha ha ha. Well, I'm just wearing jeans and a shirt right now.
US: Oh dear. I hope it's not a sweatshirt with a decal of a ghost.
WG: Who did you say you are again?
US: I'm an image consultant.
WG: You said you worked for the Government. This is a wind-up.
US: I never said I worked for the Government. You probably got confused by the high-pitched sounds I emit.
WG: I've had enough of this.
US: Go to Hell!
Do you know of any important moments from the annals of Digi history that have been omitted? If so, then mail me (firstname.lastname@example.org) right now, man. Credit will be duly given for anything that gets put up.