The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Pointless E3 Lie

1 June 1996

I am Phoning Honey - the man who picks up the phones to play the funnies.

You've probably read of my inane pranks in a book I wrote about my sort, which I called The Ivanhoe Complex.

Today, I'm going to call up some video game retailers and tell them about the fun I had in America at the E3 show. But don't worry: the shame of the shops is not reflected in their names.


US: Hey de hey... Davey-boy!

PG: Sorry?

US: I'm sorry. It's Carl Horkingsbeiss from MDK. I was hoping to meet up with one of you boys at the E3 show.

PG: The big show in America?

US: Yes. I just got back. You no go?

PG: We've never sent anyone there.

US: Los Angeles is quite a town.

PG: Ahh... so I've heard. Ermm...

US: I felt like a king - we all did. What's it they say? "I went to America and I felt like a big king".

PG: Listen, did you want a word with the boss? I could get him to call back.

US: Guess what we saw at E3.

PG: Well... the Nintendo 64?

US: No. Guess what was the best thing I saw at the E3 in LA, while you were sitting here in your little bog-hole.

PG: Look, mate...

US: Well, I'll tell you. I saw... oh, I dunno, a bone or something.

PG: What?

US: Oh, just forget it. Goodbye... Good BYE!


US: Hello, I've just got back from the opinion-forming E3 show in LA, and I wondered if you would like to hear some information about it.

E: Who's this?

US: Well, you know how it is. If this gets out, I could get blown away.

E: I don't... did you say information? What, about games - video games?

US: That's the sort of thing. I picked up some hot bagallah - it could make a big difference to your shop life, and your general life.

E: Is it just about games? Because we're trying to move away from...

US: Wise guy, huh? OK: here's the deal. For three quid I tell you about a new kind of pushing game I saw, and beyond that you're looking to at 10 notes for every time I talk about my wife. Money up-front, and damn you to hell. Cheers!

Do you know of any important moments from the annals of Digi history that have been omitted? If so, then mail me ( right now, man. Credit will be duly given for anything that gets put up.

Ring-sir! Index | Home