18 August 1996
I am Phoning Honey - king of the phoning pranksters and game-shop-oh worksters.
My ringing is 1) good for you and c) OK to do alone, so why don't I do another of my splendid pranks themed around the lovely N64 and that?
As a special favour I've not only changed the names of the shops to protect you, but I've changed my name to match yours. You idiot!
1. NICE GAMES, BRISTOL
US: Mother, you've come back!
US: Alright? Listen, I want that new Nintendo thang, but I want to know a little bit of stuff about this thang.
NG: You mean the N64? OK...
US: They're good - good and expensive?
NG: Well, they are quite expensive at the moment, as they're imported from Japan... hello?
US: Are you still there? Look, how much will I be shelling out for this?
NG: With Mario 64 it'll cost you £530.
US: Splendid, can you wrap me up three of them - one each for my mum and dad.
NG: Three?! I'll just check we've got three of them left.
US: Before you leave me, tell me, just between us - is it worth the cash?
NG: Umm... Mario is an excellent game.
US: You said Japan earlier - will that be a problem to you or I?
NG: We'll convert the console for you, but the game is in Japanese.
US: Do I look as though I read the Japanese words? You can keep your funny machines, idiot-boy. Cheers!
2. OK CON-SOALS, SOUTHAMPTON
OK: OK Con-soals.
US: OK yourself - tell me, did you like that little introduction?
OK: I've never heard that before.
US: Enough! I must have an N64 before sunset. Your life depends on it. I have £500 to spend. Any takers?
OK: Well, that'll get you the machine...
US: You imply there will be more expenditure - is that fair?
OK: If you want both the available games, it'll cost £580.
US: Suppose I give you a Mega Drive in a part-exchange style?
OK: I'll just check... (puts hand over phone)... hello? How many games has it got with it?
US: I haven't even bought it yet!
OK: We can probably do you a deal if you've got, say, five good games with your MD in an exchange plus cash.
US: That's an incredible amount. Is this N64 worth these things?
OK: It's the most powerful console yet and Mario is the best game I've ever played. Everyone in the shop agrees.
US: But what do you know? You could be an imposter or even a clown.
OK: All the games mags love Mario 64 too. It's getting high 90%s everywhere.
US: OK, so it's good. Will I be under arrest if I buy this imported machine?
OK: No - it's not illegal.
OK: We've not had any problems.
US: The thing is, you've put me off with your brash tone. Goodbye now!
Do you know of any important moments from the annals of Digi history that have been omitted? If so, then mail me (email@example.com) right now, man. Credit will be duly given for anything that gets put up.