Christmas Gift
21 December 1996
I'm Phoning Honey, the prankster-style phoner who gets off on having fun.
With Christmas breathing down my pants, I felt it my duty to ring some shops and irritate them to the best of all abilities: my abilities
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, and an even better Boxing Day. But then I would say that - I love Boxing Day! Here come the pranks. The name of the shops have been altered to protect the innocence.
"MEGA STORE", LONDON
US: Hello, and a very merry Christmas.
MS: Oh. Merry Christmas to you too.
US: Christmas is coming, and my fat son wants one of these consoles. Do you know what I might mean?
MS: Yes. A console.
US: What is it I mean?
MS: Sorry, you want to buy a console?
US: Yes, I do indeed want to buy a console. But what is "console".
MS: You mean you don't know? Well, it's a games machine. Videogames.
US: Ah! Videogames. I see. Now I'm not sure whether a console would be an educational toy, or a non-educational toy. Which is it to be?
MS: It's just for playing stuff on. If you want educational stuff you want to be looking at a PC.
US: What is... "PC"?
MS: A computer. You know - with a keyboard and monitor.
US: Ah yes, keyboard. So one can play the music. House of Fun by Madness!
MS: Right.
US: Do I want console or PC?
MS: If you want educational stuff get a PC, but it'll cost about three times as much as a console.
US: I see. I have made the decision to buy a PC. How much will one cost me.
MS: About a grand. A bit more. But we don't have any, anyway.
US: You have no PCs? Then why do you waste my time in this fashion?
MS: I'm sorry? I was...
US: You call me up. You say console, you say PC, you say one grand, a bit more. Who do you think you are? Hello?
Do you know of any important moments from the annals of Digi history that have been omitted? If so, then mail me (superpage58@gmail.com) right now, man. Credit will be duly given for anything that gets put up.
