TV Detector Man
7/11/95-11/11/95
7 November 1995 - TV DETECTOR MAN
I lost my job in the lost property office after I drew a clown's face on a briefcase.
Luckily, I've walked straight into a new job as a TV detector van driver/operator.
Part of the training exercise involved identifying a television amongst photos of other objects such as ships, lamps, beds, staffs, helmets and grills.
8 November 1995 - TV DETECTOR MAN
My first day in the TV detecting van went like a dream. I drove around the estate carrying a silver dish over my face.
I picked up signals coming from a lock-up and drove through the doors. Inside, four tramps were grafting a TV onto a horse's back.
They'd rigged it up so that every time the horse got hungry, images of a pancake flashed up on the screen.
11 November 1995 - TV DETECTOR MAN
I had the strangest experience yesterday. I picked up signals coming from a zoo and drove my van through a window.
As I approached the elephant house, one of the keepers came running out, his hair matted with damp bran. He hammered on the bonnet and screamed to be let in. As I drove away, I watched in the wing mirror as a bull elephant knocked him flying and sprayed the back of his trousers with fat.
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