Sold Into Slavery
12/3/96-15/3/96
12 March 1996 - SOLD INTO SLAVERY
Some traders came ashore on my desert island yesterday, which seemed like good news. But when I went up and asked to be rescued, one of them smacked my forehead with a spark plug on a rope and forced me into a dustbin.
It turns out they're a gang of slavers, and I'm to be sold to a Mr N Till, 64, of Papua New Guinea. Mr Till lists his hobbies as ballroom dancing, reading books about WW2, and punching slaves in the chest and legs.
13 March 1996 - SOLD INTO SLAVERY
My new master, Mr N Till, has set me to work on his estate.
He's a good man in many ways - this morning, for instance, he gave all his wounded slaves a big hug.
But at lunch, he gets drunk, then creeps around the fields with a unicorn mask on and whispers swear words at us. When he came up behind me I thought he was a street entertainer and knocked his legs away with a big stick of sugar cane. But he just lay there laughing!
15 March 1996 - SOLD INTO SLAVERY
Last night, I led a slave revolt against the tyranny of Mr N Till.
We gathered outside his bedroom window making hooting sounds to lure him out onto his balcony. When he did so, I threw a burning bike tyre at him.
We rushed into his house and began looting valuables. We were in a bit of a rush, but as I gathered up all the jewellery, I still found time to give one of the youngsters a necklace.
Diary Index | Previous | Next
