Robot Inventor
29/6/96-3/7/96
29 June 1996 - ROBOT INVENTOR
I've decided that being a Jedi Knight is for the birds, and I've set myself up as a robot inventor.
I've bought a big factory, and my first droid rolls of the production line tomorrow. His name is Rover-Boy 7, and he's designed for domestic use.
He has a big button on his head, that when pressed sends huge jets of wine gushing from his neck.
1 July 1996 - ROBOT INVENTOR
My latest robot is called Mouse Robot 36. It is the exact shape and size of a domestic mouse, covered in brown fur and is 500 feet long.
Mouse Robot 37 is designed as a recreational aide aboard nuclear submarines. Sailor-boys will sit on the back of the robot whilst it vibrates slowly and leaks gin over the backs of their legs.
I've tried it myself. It's very good!
2 July 1996 - ROBOT INVENTOR
I've designed a new robot called Magic Robot 6, for use by television illusionists.
It's meant as a replacement for the traditional magician's sidekick but is packed with innovative features.
For instance, pull a lever on its back and the robot belches a lethal gas; push its stomach in and its arms fall off! Also, if you stand the robot near a very bright lamp, its arms turn black and fall off!
3 July 1996 - ROBOT INVENTOR
My range of minature robots for use in model villages has caused a few problems.
There was chaos at my local model village when a minature fireman robot burst into flames and lost control of his limbs.
He lurched around outside the model fire station before falling over and laying there until an attendant thought to remove him.
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