6 June 1997 - PRIME MINISTER
Being Prime Minister is excellent: I can do whatever I want. Yesterday, for instance, I passed two new laws. One law was a law which officially recognised me as the best man ever.
The second law was a law which said that the best man ever should be given free cars with optional power-steering, multi-play CD systems, 200 watt sub-woofer speakers, and tinted windows.
But I'm the best man ever!
7 June 1997 - PRIME MINISTER
In my capacity as Prime Minister of Great Britain, I have to visit a lot of hospitals and prisons.
I was at one prison yesterday meeting the people that work there. I went along the line shaking everyone's hand, asking what it was they did at the prison. One man told me he was a kidnapper, while another said he was a robber. Another man told me he was an arsonist. At least, that's what I think he said when we shook hands in the showers.