Prime Minister
5/6/97-7/6/97
5 June 1997 - PRIME MINISTER
I've stopped being a butler now, and I have a new job: I am the new prime minister of Great Britain.
My first task as Prime Minister is to deal with the housing crisis. I intend to pass a new law which classifies the Earth's atmosphere as the roof of a big council house. Everyone beneath that roof would technically be living in council accommodation. My next task is to buy a new car with a huge rear spoiler, and a set of massive sub-woofers.
6 June 1997 - PRIME MINISTER
Being Prime Minister is excellent: I can do whatever I want. Yesterday, for instance, I passed two new laws. One law was a law which officially recognised me as the best man ever.
The second law was a law which said that the best man ever should be given free cars with optional power-steering, multi-play CD systems, 200 watt sub-woofer speakers, and tinted windows.
But I'm the best man ever!
7 June 1997 - PRIME MINISTER
In my capacity as Prime Minister of Great Britain, I have to visit a lot of hospitals and prisons.
I was at one prison yesterday meeting the people that work there. I went along the line shaking everyone's hand, asking what it was they did at the prison. One man told me he was a kidnapper, while another said he was a robber. Another man told me he was an arsonist. At least, that's what I think he said when we shook hands in the showers.
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