The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Past Lives


17 November 1997 - PAST LIVES

My hypnotherapist has regressed me to a former life. In my previous incarnation I was a Spanish clam salesman from Bolton in the year 1975.

Back in those days people drove Ford Cortinas and wore brown nylon trousers. Also, it was fashionable to look like you needed a good bath, and it was perfectly acceptable to sweat profusely and not wash your hair. Everybody's favourite film was Soylent Green.

20 November 1997 - PAST LIVES

I have regressed via hypnosis to a former life, where I was Mack Offal, inventor of the sausage.

I accidentally invented the sausage while filling a rubber glove up with cow guts, to play a trick on my colleagues at the abbatoir. As I saw the swollen, pink fingers of the glove I had a vision, and began to imagine eating the fingers. I invested my life savings in building the first sausage, but forgot to patent it. The sausage was later patented by Prefab Sprout.

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