The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


Caveman Neighbours


10 November 1997 - CAVEMAN NEIGHBOURS

"Flint-stains! I've got flint-stains, All down my modern stone-wash jeans. From the, Shop called Burtons, They cost me twelve pounds sixty-three!"

I'm singing this song because my new neighbours are a family of cavemen. I know all these posh people say they're just the same as us, but I tell you, I can't understand a word they're saying, and their habits are disgusting. What's more, the smell they make when they're cooking stinks my washing line up.

14 November 1997 - CAVEMAN NEIGHBOURS

My caveman neighbours have decided not to eat me after I managed to convince them I was a sun god. While being held prisoner in their living room I was able to polish my face, and angled it so that the sun shone on it through the curtains.

The cavemen were awe-struck, and instantly dropped to their knees. By performing an avant-garde dance routine, I was able to dance my way right out of that room, and into the street. Where I was hit by a car.

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