21 September 1996 - BOUNCER
I've got a new job as a bouncer in a swanky club in the centre of town. Because it's a theme club, I have to wear a stupid cowboy hat, swimming trunks and a waistcoat.
I have a big list which I check when people try and come into the club. If their name's not down, I knock them about a bit, and cut their clothes to shreds. What's also a bit strange is that my partner is a cat.
25 September 1996 - BOUNCER
I've built a special slide outside my club to deal with troublemakers. I sit at the top of the slide, and if anyone tries to get in who looks a bit dodgy, I launch myself down the slide and into their stomach!
There are flaws with the plan, though. The other night when I was climbing up the top of the slide, a gang of thugs ran into the club and killed the barman, Careless Carlos.