With Captain Five Skills
5/8/94-10/8/94
5 August 1994 - WITH CAPTAIN FIVE SKILLS
Arrr. Brrm. Chug along now will you, sir? I'm trying to talk about myself and my skills. As a pirate I've come to learn a vast number of skills (five).
The first skill I learnt was to become a CC Peniston look-a-like. This once helped me to plunder boots from my wife. I stole all eight CC Peniston CDs, and a couple of Pistons.
6 August 1994 - WITH CAPTAIN FIVE SKILLS
I'm apparently so stupid that if you read this it will be a miracle. But if you do, remind me to talk about my second skill.
That's now! Well, I used to work in this bottling plant, and the gaffer - Mr Regulax - asked me to disinfect the main fleece. I eased up the hub and "wherried in"; skill two.
8 August 1994 - WITH CAPTAIN FIVE SKILLS
Where was I? Ah yes. My third skill.
This third skill, or "slell", I learned as I washed an ungainly trilobyte in the river. As I scrubbed, clouds of laughing gas erupted from a crack in my abdomen. I quickly recovered my composure, and ensnared the gas with a flap of skin; skill three.
9 August 1994 - WITH CAPTAIN FIVE SKILLS
Up to skill four - and never called me mother!
It's pretty simple - I had this bag of split peas which my brother used to filter his wines through, didn't he?
I was intrigued by the process, and copied it.
My fourth skill!
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