Stand-Up Comedian

17 February 1998 - STAND-UP COMEDIAN

I'm determined to be a stand-up comedian. So much so, I'm going to tell you some jokes:

QUESTION: Why did the chicken stop?
ANSWER: Because it was restricted.

QUESTION: Why did the doctor observe the patient?
ANSWER: No one knows that.

QUESTION: Why did the train blow smoke?
ANSWER: Because it had nothing else to do, of course.

18 February 1998 - STAND-UP COMEDIAN

I'm determined to be a stand-up comedian. So much so, I'm going to tell you some more excellent jokes:

QUESTION: Why do whistles go "wheee"?
ANSWER: Air blows through them.

QUESTION: What did the man say to the waiter?
ANSWER: Hello dude!

QUESTION: Where do cats come from?
ANSWER: Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Cats".

20 February 1998 - STAND-UP COMEDIAN

I've become an observational stand-up comedian. Here's an excerpt of the kind of thing you can expect from my act:

Have you ever noticed that when you throw a raw egg at your cat, you can only actually hit it in the face about three out of ten times?

And have you noticed that some doctors are shorter than you? I ask you - how are you supposed to have any respect for someone who's shorter than you are? It's madness, I tell you! Cu! Cu!

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