Robot Designer
11/1/99-16/1/99
11 January 1999 - ROBOT DESIGNER
Designing robots is hard work, but it can be more than rewarding. Sometimes, my boss lets me take the robots home with me. I'm currently living with a robot that is designed to strip paint.
Suffice to say, "TX 475-21" and I get into all sorts of hilarious scrapes. Last night, TX and I went to the vicar's house for tea. Let me tell you, that vicar wasn't too happy when my robotic companion stripped the paint off his religious trophy cabinet!
12 January 1999 - ROBOT DESIGNER
I've designed a new type of robot which can write poetry. I call it "Poet Bot 59". Here's a poem it wrote about me - check it out now:
"Master,
On some days you are benevolent,
But on other days you attack me,
With hammers and sticks.
I don't know why you do this,
Nor do I understand
Why you gave me the capability to experience pain."
14 January 1999 - ROBOT DESIGNER
I have designed a new robot which is specifically configured to be a school bully robot. My plan is to have one of these robots in every school, eliminating the need for the traditional school bully.
When in a group of its peers, the robot is physically threatening, but when alone it just sneers a lot. Also, the robot has a big buzzer on its chest which sounds continuously. This way, weaker pupils will known when it's approaching, and be able to hide behind a wall, or bench.
15 January 1999 - ROBOT DESIGNER
I think I'm going to have to stop being a robot designer, as I have begun to fall in love with my robots. My favourite is FG-100, a robot designed to fit windscreens on Vauxhall Astras.
Last night I tried to take FG-100 to the pictures, but I was unable to unbolt the robot from the floor. We had to stay in with a pizza. Unfortunately, when I activated FG-100 in an effort to feed it some pizza, it attempted to fit a windscreen to my Vauxhall Astra.
16 January 1999 - ROBOT DESIGNER
My days of being a robot designer are over, following my botched attempt to elope with a prototype designed to pebble dash council houses. I had successfully sneaked TH-88 into the back of my car, but as we were driving out of the factory I must have leant on its button.
Within seconds the inside of the car was covered in pebble dash, and I could barely see where I was going. Suffice to say, I lost control of the car, and drove into the factory supervisor, which caused him to explode.
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