The Man With A Long Chin's Diary


In The Fish Factory


30 September 1994 - IN THE FISH FACTORY

We waited six hours for Winko to appear, and when he did, four of us went for his wallet. Pow! We knocked him down. Ka-pow! We ran into the factory.

Inside, hundreds of sour fish spines dangled from a rotary washing line. The Germans suckled them till the skin grew back.

1 October 1994 - IN THE FISH FACTORY

We travelled further into the factory. In one hall we counted no less than 147 marlins in a cot.

Later, one of the Germans tried to suck out a sprat's eye, but ended up swallowing its beak. I drank a cup of warm eel's roe by mistake.

3 October 1994 - IN THE FISH FACTORY

One of the factory dams burst yesterday. Two of the Germans were swept into a pulsing vat of cod scalps, whilst another found himself in a bucket of crispy, burnt herrings.

I myself fell face first into a lake of bitter pufferfish bellies.

4 October 1994 - IN THE FISH FACTORY

I escaped from the fish factory by crawling through a wide gulley awash with the ink of a thousand squid.

I drank as much as I could, but after a while it started to taste like a tramp had washed his cloak in it. Lovely!

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