In Captivity
28/6/94-5/7/94
28 June 1994 - IN CAPTIVITY
It's terrible - I've been taken prisoner by disgruntled members of "Wings" - Paul McCartney's musical collaborators between 1971 and 1980.
I don't know where we are - they won't let me out of this small, metal cage. Every time I try to escape they electrify it! Fzazzk!
1 July 1994 - IN CAPTIVITY
Denny Laine led me on a tour of the secret Wings base last night. It was quite a sight; they've built it out of a dead volcano.
The bit at the top has been covered by two massive, wooden doors, which are voice activated. Say the word "plonke-e", and the doors will open.
2 July 1994 - IN CAPTIVITY
There was a big meeting last night which all the members of Wings had to attend.
Denny Laine spoke for the most part, but at the climax, he began to shriek - a sound which caused a stone pillar to shatter, revealing the true mastermind behind their scheme - Andy Rourke out of The Smiths!
4 July 1994 - IN CAPTIVITY
The mastermind behind Wings' schemes for global domination, Andy Rourke from The Smiths, has told me that he's designed a new element - one, he tells me, which will destroy the world and make him the leader of what's left.
He calls this new element "belliment".
5 July 1994 - IN CAPTIVITY
Wings, and their evil leader, Andy Rourke out of The Smiths, have strapped me to a giant, plastic girl.
They plan to launch me into infinity, where I will discover new worlds for them to conquer.
One of these worlds is made of compressed air.
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