Beach Pumpkin Shop
23/7/97-30/7/97
23 July 1997 - BEACH PUMPKIN SHOP
I've stopped being a toy now, and have a new job as a pumpkin salesman. I have a stall set up on a beach, but I've found business to be a little slow so far.
People on this beach don't seem to appreciate the benefits of the pumpkin: the pumpkin is both tasty and full of essential oils and nutrients. Also, they're the perfect companion to a glass of cherryade. They only cost 49p each. Please, won't you come buy one of my juicy orange sons?
28 July 1997 - BEACH PUMPKIN SHOP
I'm worried that I may have to close my pumpkin stall down. The environmental health man came here last night and wasn't impressed with what he saw.
For starters, he told me to remove the dead monkey which I use to keep the back door closed. He also said that he couldn't understand why a pumpkin shop would have raw manure spread over the floor. I explained it was probably to keep the pumpkins growing. He didn't like that answer much.
30 July 1997 - BEACH PUMPKIN SHOP
It's one thing to set up a pumpkin stall on the beach, but it's another thing altogether to erect a 30ft effigy of Kid Creole, mount a cannon in its chest, and fire gravel at your customers.
That's exactly what a rival pumpkin stall has been doing, a short way up the beach from me. The owner waits until a customer has turned his back, then pulls a cord, which sets off a whistle, and the customer gets a sore neck-full of gravel.
Diary Index | Previous | Next
