The Man With A Long Chin's Diary




27 January 2003 - ZOO

I've got a new job at the zoo, looking after the giraffes. However, I've been given the less than glamorous task of keeping their bottoms clean.

I do this by riding underneath the giraffes on a slightly smaller giraffe, and scrubbing them with a mop. How do I clean the smaller giraffe? I stand on a pile of tortoises!

28 January 2003 - ZOO

Working at the zoo is a lot of fun, but yesterday I got into trouble for trying to ride on the back of a bonobo monkey.

You see, I'd been looking at it through the wrong end of a telescope, and thought it was some sort of gorilla.

29 January 2003 - ZOO

I may have to leave my job at the zoo after the head keeper caught me calling some of the monkeys a naughty name.

What was I supposed to do? One of them had thrown his dirt at me after I'd run at it with a broom, while making a loud clicking noise through a megaphone.

30 January 2003 - ZOO

I've decided to open up my own zoo after being fired from that other zoo I was at. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to buy my own animals. I tried to steal a giraffe, but it was knocked down by a Mondeo as we were running away.

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